Mistletoe Mistake
by Desenchanter
Summary: “A woman often thinks she regrets the lover, when she only regrets the love”. Kagome's unrequited love gets all the more complicated when she lets one kiss under the mistletoe lead to a month of naughty nights... and the gift of a child. AU. Two-Shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: **only parts are told in first person, the rest is in third person. Enjoy.

**{ **| **x**.o**.x—M**_istletoe_** M**istake**—x.**o.**x **|** }**

"_A woman often thinks she regrets the lover, when she only regrets the love" —_Francois de la Rochefoucauld

.

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.  
. . . { Kagome's P.O.V } . . .

How many years have gone by now? Since I first met you? When you were a wreck, after she left you. The only woman you ever were faithful to, the only one you ever stuck with for a prolonged period of time. You remember what your first words were to me?

"Kikyou?" But then you paused and realized your mistake, you cleared your throat, "wait, who are you?"

"Higurashi Kagome," I answered, "your new secretary, Toashi-san."

That lasted, what? A year. God, it was awful working for you. You're a great entrepreneur, you make a lot of grand investments, you can talk people into giving up a ton of money, you can talk anyone woman into bed, too. That was the terrible part of my job, figuring out what to send to the one night stands as a 'hey, that was fun but… let's not do it again, alright? No hard feelings'. Because, you moron, there isn't a gift that really says that and I was the one that had to take the phone calls from the pissed off women.

Then I quit, 'cause I couldn't take it. I became friends with Sango and she married Miroku and Miroku is your best friend so we stayed near. Then we became friends, I watched you screw around with so many women, most of the time more than one at a time—lucky for you only few figured out they weren't your one and only. Can anyone be your one and only? Besides Sango, which doesn't count, I think, since she was off limits due to Miroku, I'm your only female friend. The only one that has ever stuck by you through everything…

I fell in love with you somewhere along the way by mistake. It's pretty shitty to love such a dog, to watch him almost every night with another but always for just one night. I suppose that's best in the end, it's easier to watch you with some random woman instead of a steady love...

Then that night happened… again, and again, and again.

|**x**|—{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}—|**x**|

"Stop," the silver haired man with piercing amber eyes grunted as he avoiding looking at the stunning sight beside him, "I get it, now stop it."

"I'm just checking," a woman with hair the color of a starless sky sang back before she removed her green petticoat to reveal her red cocktail dress and hand her jacket to the coat check just as the silver haired man did, "I just want you to stay healthy, Yasha."

"I wear protection, got it?" He growled, "stop telling me—"

"It can't hurt to go to the—"

"Shut up!" His hands flung up to his ears to keep the hellish suggestive away. She was always telling him that, did she know what it entailed to go and do _that_? No man would ever want to.

"You're such a baby," she murmured with her nutmeg colored eyes scanned around to the other highly well dressed people that lingered about the ball room, "I'm just saying."

"Well stop sayin' it, alright?"

She rolled her eyes, if he hadn't come begging her only an hour ago to come with him to this party she'd be in a pair of warm flannel PJs watching her favorite TV show and relaxing for the night like she had planned all week long. Instead, she was stuck in a room full of people that looked like they blew their noses with a hundred thousand yen. Then again, that was the type of people her dear friend Inuyasha always choice to hang around, "why am I here, again?"

"'Cause, Kagome," he stretched out her name like he did only when she was getting under his skin—which, she was skilled at doing. "I needed a date and you didn't have any plans tonight."

"I had plans," she bickered back, "I had really great plans."

"Gods, watching that stupid TV show is a pathetic way to spend a Friday night."

"It's the small, simple things in life that you should learn to enjoy, Inuyasha," his ear twitched at that, he knew he had started to eat away at her good grace when she used his full name like that, "but you wouldn't know that, huh? I bet I know what it is, all the girls you know right now figured out there was another? Or, what? Three others? Tsk, tsk, you terrible person."

"Hey," he snapped as he picked up two glasses of champagne off of a trail and handed her one, she thanked him lightly before he continued on his well prepped rant that she knew so well, "monogamy is overrated. I've never once told any of them that we were in a mutual exclusive relationship so it's not my fault if they think that. It's not like I don't buy them fine gifts—"

"It's not like your secretary doesn't do that," Kagome corrected and, as always, was ignored so he could finish.

"It's not like I don't take them out to nice restaurants and on great weekend outings, so they should just be grateful we have fun together. I can't help that women are so emotional and psycho."

"We aren't all," she countered before elbowing him in the side, "do you think I'm pyscho?"

"No, but your different," he mused, "you're Kagome, the rest are women."

"Uh," she gawked, "are you saying I'm not a woman?"

"That's not…" he murmured, he always found a way to put his foot in his mouth when it came to her so he just shook his head and pretended like he hadn't even started that conversation, "so, anyway, how was your week?"

She shook her head before getting her phone out of her little black clutch, "I missed a call, why don't you go on and talk to whoever you are trying to sucker into investing in whatever your company is up to now, OK?"

"Whatever," Inuyasha shrugged.

"Hey, Kagome!" Her voice mail began, "it's Hojo, I just wanted to call and… say, I had a great time the other night and hope to do it again—I mean, see you again. I… well, um, Kagome," he laughed lightly, "it was great seeing you after so long. I… yeah, bye."

A smile fluttered upon her burgundy lips, Hojo had always been a bit awkward around women, it was nice to see that some things never change.

"Who's Hojo?" Inuyasha grinned.

"I thought you went off to talk to someone," she retorted before shoving her phone back in her clutch, "you know eavesdropping is rude, Inuyasha."

He just shrugged without letting his smirk fade, "what's Hojo want to do again, Kagome?"

"None," she started with a sweet smile as she took a step closer to him to look up in his fluid golden orbs, "of your business."

"He's not your boyfriend, is he?"

She swirled he glass around a bit before taking a sip, "what would it matter?"

"You know what I say about relationships," oh, no, she just knew he was going to start on another rant against monogamy, "they—"

"Yes, yes, they aren't a good idea, lead to blah, blah, blah," she swooshed her glass towards him as a sign that she didn't care before she turned to walk about, and like she thought he followed.

"I'm serious," which is what caught her attention the most. The Inuyasha she knew so well was almost never 'serious', he never talked to her with a stern voice like that, he was always screwing around or angry… that's why she felt a lump in her throat, "who's Hojo?"

"Why?" She inquired with a cocked brow.

"I'm curious, you know you're like…" he mulled over his next word as she stopped on the outskirt of the dance area to look at him, "family, so it matters who you're screwin' around with."

"You are really vulgar," she scolded with a shake of her head, "Hojo's my high school sweetheart."

"Really? You would have one of those," he snickered as he finished off his drink and sat it on the next tray that walked by.

"Jeez, thanks, but it's over, I ran into him the other day randomly and we went out to eat."

"Then you brought him home?" He dragged out, only to be smacked upside the head.

"Even if I did, which I didn't," at least, she wouldn't admit to it, "it wouldn't be any of your business. See, unlike you, Yasha, _I _prefer to keep my sex life private instead of having it spewed all over the tabloids."

"I can't help that the tabloids are interested in who I'm fucking at the time," he shrugged with a smug smirk, "and the only reason you like to keep your sex life private is because it's almost nonexistent. Do you know why that is?"

"Oh my lord," Kagome groaned, finishing off her drink rather quickly and setting it on a—sadly—empty tray, her nutmegs wondering about for the next one to come around.

"'Cause you only screw guys your dating, there's nothing wrong with letting loose every once and a while."

"You are a repulsive person," she stated, "how are we friends?"

He took a moment to think about that before he could form a rather simple answer, "I haven't a clue." But, he didn't care to figure it out either, so he took her hand and led her to the dance floor that he noticed her eyeing so longingly.

"Yasha," she murmured as he placed a hand on her hip and the other grasped the hand it already possessed, "you must really want the investment if you're willing to come to a Christmas themed party."

She knew it was an iffy subject, probably one she shouldn't try to touch, but… she said it anyway. Just to see if he'd react the same way as always or if, by some miracle, he'd gotten over it. It stung to see him flinch at her words and move his gaze away from her to the people about them. Neither said anything for a while, he never wanted to talk about it, and she'd never force it. It was the one thing she knew actually hurt the invincible man she'd grown so close to. The Christmas before they met his one and only long term relationship to his college sweetheart ended and ever since he hated the holiday, which, really, put a damper on it for her since it was her favorite holiday.

Though, she couldn't blame him… if someone she loved so dearly died that day, she was sure she'd hate it, too. Hayashi Kikyou, Kagome had never met her but she had heard so much from Miroku and Inuyasha about her that she felt she had. From the bits and pieces she had heard about the accident that took her life—which were few, since Inuyasha refused to talk of it and she never asked Miroku—it was a car crash.

"Hey," Inuyasha grinned after the song finished, it lifted her heavy heart to see that, "mistletoe."

"What?" She muttered before letting her nutmegs follow his gaze upward… oh, no, really? She had thought often of a kiss with him but… it would be a bad idea, she already had unrequited feelings for him, she didn't need them to become stronger, to cause her more pain but…

Would she ever have another chance? It was just a game to him, she could tell from the mischievous look in his eyes and the smirk upon his lips, while it would mean the world to her. In the end, she rose up a bit and he bent down so that their lips could briefly meet.

|**x**|—{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}—|**x**|

Something was sparked from that little kiss, something stirred within the both of them all night, something kept him from focusing on the conversations he meant to help his business, something kept her from being able to stand still beside him, something forced them to leave within an hour and head back to her apartment.

They tried to pretend like they were just heading back there as if it were any other night, just for a glass of wine, maybe a movie, perhaps she'd force him to watch her favorite show that he hated so, but neither believed that once they kicked their shoes off in her entry and stopped to look at the other.

There wasn't really any need for words. He started it; he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him so their lips could mingle again. It was his tongue that pried her lips open so it could roam about freely and tangle with hers as his fingers found the zipper of her dress so it could slide down off her body so simply to hear a small thud in her living room.

Her skin was so soft, so warm… so flawless.

His pants were off by the time they got to the room and his shirt was discarded before they tripped upon the bed. All was lost at that moment; their sense of what was right and what was wrong, their friendship, their restraint, their senses. Passion took over as they joined their bodies together. A wild, reckless, zeal that wrote what their rhythm would be throughout their night of foolishness.

Nothing kept them from gasping, moaning, and a 'thud, thud, thud' of the bed that was sure to drive her neighbor's mad. Never, though, did a name escape either's lips—on the rare occasion that they were apart or not roaming across the other's bare skin.

It was an unspoken agreement, one that they both kept for separate reasons. It wasn't happening, they weren't conjoined by a carnal need that they didn't think they had for the other.

All in all, it was a splendid sensation of sensual satisfaction that caused stars to brighten the somber bedroom.

|**x**|—{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}—|**x**|

I was a silly girl but I couldn't help myself, I just… wanted you. Not just for sex, that's all you wanted, but I yearned for more. I guess that's why I let you come back every day that December—except for Christmas, you didn't show up to my party, you asshole but that didn't stop me from opening the door to you the next day. We didn't really talk, either, we just did it wherever—the kitchen ones, the living room often, and the bedroom. Before you figured out I was a good fuck buddy, we used to talk about our days when we saw each other, we used to talk about a lot of stuff. I really hate that we lost that.

Sometimes, you'd ask about my day as you got your clothes together, sometimes I'd ask you before our clothes were discarded in some of the most awkward places.

At the start of January I knew it had to end, I couldn't take it anymore. I was losing you, I never even had you but our friendship meant the world to me before… that was gone, though. I just became one of the stupid girls that you went to but… I was never as dim as the rest, I was never delusional enough to think that you didn't leave me each night/afternoon/whenever to go to another girl.

Gods, that hurt so much. I love you, I always will, but you can't love anyone anymore, can you?

I had to get away, I just had to. I couldn't keep going on like that. That was why when my boss came to me asking if I would take over a promotion in Kyoto I took it without question. I moved out of my apartment in Tokyo without telling you. That's why I never left you an address for my new apartment and begged Sango never to tell you—which, she agreed without hesitation.

I changed my number; too, do you think that was a little extreme? It's not like you were going to track me down. I was just another lost sex toy that could be replaced ever so easily. Wasn't I?

I readjusted to my new life well, I think, I made new friends at work, I made more money, I had a nicer apartment, bigger space, for less than I had to pay in Tokyo. I missed some things about Tokyo but Kyoto was still a big city and I preferred that.

Then… I missed my period. I didn't think much of it, I was stressed from the move, I was working double time just to get you out of my head. Then I felt nauseas… and worry set in. My hands were shaking as I held the white stick in hand to see what the result was—positive.

Gods, why? Why? _Why_?

I felt the nausea come back like never before at that moment. I went to the doctor that very day.

"The results are like you thought," the doctor said to me. Crashing my whole world around me just like that… remember what you said about kids? I do. It only made me sicker.

"_You know what?" I snickered at him as I hit his upper arm, "someday one of your random whores are going to call you up and tell you you're a daddy."_

_You shivered so severely at the very notion, "that's my worst nightmare. One of the girls comin' back saying she's," you couldn't even say it, "fuck, do you think I could pay a woman to abort—?" _

"_Inuyasha! God! You're an awful person!"_

"_There's nothing wrong with protecting my assets," he protested only to get slapped again. "What?! I don't want kids! That'd be hell on earth, a bunch of little freakin' rug rats running all over the place! That'd be prison, fuck that."_

"_Oh my god," I dragged out with ample space between each word, "you are a _terrible_ person."_

"_What?" he snickered, "do you want kids?"_

"_Yes," I squealed, "someday, with the right man. Of course!"_

Jeez, I always thought that right man would be my husband… now I'm left to have a bastard child. I never thought that'd be me. I guess it's fairly acceptable nowadays… but I still want that white picket fence type of life. I don't want to do this alone… but I'll never tell you.

"There are a few options," the doctor dragged out, snapping me from lala-land, "but you will have to decide within the next month or so."

Ah, that… I will never. I want this child, what if I don't get another chance? More importantly, regardless of the fact that this child is yours, it's _mine_. I will cherish the child like you never would. I… can't ever let you find out. You wouldn't want to know, anyway. Don't worry. I won't let my baby get in the way of your assets.

|**x**|—{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}—|**x**|

.

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. . . { Inuyasha's P.O.V }. . .

A few too many months passed by after Kagome left without a word to me, the bitch. After everything we've been through together, after all the years of friendship, she just left without as little as a goodbye? Without even telling me where she was moving to? And she changed her phone number?

What the _fuck_?

I was pissed like hell for a month straight. Frustration flew through my veins, I couldn't work well so I just took the month off and called up the prettiest women I knew and spent days after days with them yet it didn't cure a thing.

I stopped bothering with that after the anger wore away. I didn't hassle with anyone else but you, Kagome, for that month we mingled. I… guess, looking back on it—like I so often did—I was kind of an asshole, huh? I didn't really do the right thing by you. You didn't just randomly screw around with men like I did women, you only had sex with people you cared about… you were dating. I should have taken you out a few times, I should have stopped to talk to you but… you know how I am in December, it's a shitty month for me.

"Inuyasha," Miroku beckoned to me as I swirled around slightly in my chair, my gaze locked upon the ceiling, "_Inuyasha_."

"What?" I snapped back, not bothering to glance at him.

He took a long pause, "you've been… down lately, what's up?"

As if he didn't already know, did he just want to hear me say it? Fine, I'd give him that, because… it was true. "I never… knew," gods, it was harder to say then I thought it would be, "it would be this… bad if she wasn't here."

"Kagome?" Miroku guessed before he sat down upon my desk, "you miss her, don't you?"

Of course I did, who'd I have if she wasn't around? Miroku's a great friend, yeah, but he's married and has a two kids and another on the way, he didn't have time to go out and have a good time. Besides the random hock ups I formed I… didn't have anyone. I _had_ someone. I had Kagome, she was always there when I needed someone to hear me rant, when I wanted someone to just hand out with, when I just… wanted someone there. She was always a phone call away.

And I fucked that up by ignoring her feelings.

"I really do," I muttered, I spun around so I was finally looking at him, "tell me, where is she? Sango knows, I couldn't believe Kagome left without telling her, and if Sango knows then you know—"

"Inuyasha, I have no idea what you are talking about," Miroku assured stiffly.

I pressed my lips together before sliding open my drawer and pulling out a small black box, "I've decided… that I can't," I bit my lips together. I can't find pleasure with anyone besides her, I don't want to, I… think I can settle down, for her, if she'd let me. I think I can be faithful, to her, how couldn't I? She's beautiful and sensational in bed; I doubt I could find someone better.

"Inuyasha," Miroku drew out, "I can't tell you where she is…"

"Fine, I'll figure it out myself."

"Please, Inuyasha, leave her alone."

Leave her alone? If I do that, then I'd be alone.

|**x**|—{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}—|**x**|

It took a lot of will power for her to get out of bed on her day off but she did, groggily she pulled her hair back into her ponytail and walked to the door. When she looked out the peephole she didn't see anything… stupid kids, it's not funny to knock on a door so early. With a small sigh she turned around to go back to bed but then it happened again so she spun around and yanked open the door.

No one was there? She took a step forward, "stop it you little—!"

"Little what?" It pierced through her, stealing her breath away and turning her stomach before she could turn to see just who she thought standing there… "I figured if you saw me through the peephole you wouldn't open the door." He explained as he pushed off of the wall to stand up straight.

"I… Inuyasha," she choked, she didn't mean to but her hand still moved to her stomach. She swallowed the lump in her throat but she couldn't find any words.

"Kagome," he murmured before he walked up to him, "can I come in? Can we talk?"

She meant to say no but… she still took a few steps away from the door to allow him in, he closed it and she found herself making a cup of tea for the two of them before he followed her into the kitchen.

"Kagome," he started again but she refused to turn around to see him, "I… I made a mistake."

"We both did," she replied in the most surreal way, as if she hadn't really said it.

It stumped him; he took a breath before he formed an answer, "mostly me. I… Kagome," he waited until she turned to hand him the tea. It killed him a little to watch as her nutmeg beauties avoided his eyes fully. "I… miss you."

That's great; she almost rolled her eyes before she sat down at a table, "alright."

He didn't expect a warm welcome or a giddy greeting, but he'd never seen her so warn, either, he didn't expect the usual joy that was attached to each of her words—even when she was pissed at him—to be gone. "Kagome, I made—"

"Yeah, OK, I get it," she snapped.

"Just… Just listen to me," he begged before he took a seat next to her, "I can't… function without you anymore. Look, I've been thinking about it a lot since you left and… Kagome," it was too good to be able to say her name and see her before him all at once, "I… you, you are the only person that I can't manage without."

"Inuyasha," she dragged out with a mild groan before she took a sip of her tea, "please… stop."

"I care about you," he stated swiftly, so the words would finally come out. Her eyes widened slightly before she looked away again, "I really do. I don't need anyone else but you."

Translation, he didn't need to have sex with anyone besides her—at least, that how Kagome took it. How sweet, how romantic, not, "I don't—"

"Go out with me tonight," he interrupted whatever surely sassy thing was to come from her, "just tonight. If you don't like what I have to say then I'll leave for good. You'll never have to see me again. What do you say? Just one dinner."

"Just one…?" She mused… how could it hurt?


	2. Chapter 2

**{ **| **x**.o**.x—M**_istletoe_** M**_istake_**—x.**o.**x **|** }**

"_A woman often thinks she regrets the lover, when she only regrets the love" —_Francois de la Rochefoucauld

........

As he promised, he returned later that night to pick her up for one simple dinner out. It was rather embarrassing for her to think about how it took her an hour to pick an outfit… She wasn't really showing at all yet so she didn't really have to worry. Inuyasha wasn't a perceptive man, anyway, so even if she did have a small bump he wouldn't ever put two and two together.

Why was she even going out with him? She wanted to cut all ties. He didn't want children; he made that clear over and over again whenever the topic came up. She didn't even think he'd make a great dad, he couldn't stay steady with any women—how could he take on the responsibility of caring for a child? Gods, and what if she had a boy? The last thing she ever wanted was a son that acted the way Inuyasha did. Could he ever dream of being a good role model for his child?

No, not his. Hers.

In the end, she chose a rather conservative sweater and slacks. There was no need to give him the wrong idea. A rump in the sheets would not be how the night ended, she wouldn't allow it.

They didn't really talk on their way out of her apartment building or on their way to the restaurant, just like all the times he showed up at her apartment.

"What happen to a simple dinner out?"

"I never said the word simple," Inuyasha coaxed as he pulled out a chair for Kagome to sit down in.

Really, she should have known. She was the one that enjoyed the simple things in life; he was the one that always had to go overboard. So why was she surprised that he took her out to _Belle Fleur_, one of the nicest restaurant in town? It was French food, too, and she didn't know how she felt about that. All she knew about French food is that they ate snails and the very thought made her nausea return.

"What do you want to talk about?" She started up after they had ordered, she hated to allow it but he picked out something for her. She wasn't sure what was good and he thought he knew what she'd like. He also bought a bottle of wine—like they always shared before they screwed up their friendship with sex—but she refused a glass. Just as she guessed, he assumed that was a sign of subtle hostility towards him and nothing more.

"I want to be with you," he slowly, shakily, stated. No matter how many times his eyes darted across her face she refused eye-contact, "Kagome. I screwed up. I should have been better to you; I don't have an excuse for the way I acted… You've been around for so many years now; I just… took you for granite until you were gone. I'm sorry."

"I have a new life here," she pressed her lips together before looking back at him. "I'm not going back to Tokyo. I have a new lease to deal with, I have a new position at work, and I can't just leave it all because _you_ want me to."

"I didn't say anything about that," he assured, "I don't need to be located in Tokyo."

"Inuyasha," she complained, "you can't do that."

"Why? I don't even need to work. I have plenty of money to just—"

"I don't want you to come here," she sped.

That was to be expected, "I was an ass. Let me make it up to you."

In an ideal world she would love him to stay. In an ideal world she would love him to raise their child together. But she didn't live in an ideal world. There was no happily-ever-after, she needn't linger on the possibility… no matter how much she'd like to.

"We made a mistake," she started when she was sure she could keep a steady voice, "we were good friends. We should have stayed that way."

"We could go back to that if—"

"We can't. You know that, I know that…"

"Good, 'cause I'd rather not," he was thankful that she was silent enough for him to slip the black box out of his pocket and on to the table, "I'd much rather not be just friends, Kagome."

"What's that?" She sighed as she raised a hand to push her hair behind her ears. There were only two things that box could contain, a 'sorry' gift, or—what she feared the most—as stupid, unplanned, uncalled for proposal.

The latter happened to be the case as he opened the box to show her an extravagant engagement ring; three diamonds circled a pink one on a platinum ring. "Kagome, I was going to wait until after dinner but this is the only way I can show you I'm—"

"Stupid?" She guessed rather bitterly before she folded her arms, "like hell I'd even consider marrying you. As if I would believe that you have actually thought this through. You… gods, Inuyasha, you are a child. You never think anything through, why would I think otherwise now?"

Ouch, he winced at the harshness behind her words… he expected that from her, though. He was a bastard to her and it was Kagome he was trying to make amends with. She was the only woman he knew that wouldn't forgive and forget with a grand gift or two. "I have thought this through, though," shockingly enough, "I've thought about you ever freakin' day since you've left and I… I know I can't live without you. It sounds stupid and simple but it's true."

He paused for a moment as her hardened eyes refused to soften up to the loving ones he knew so well. He wasn't the open heart type; he hadn't any inclination to change that before… she was the one that wore her heart on her sleeve, he never did but… but he owed it to her to stuck it up and pin back his pride to say how… he felt, damn, he hated to do that.

"You're one of my only friends," as pathetic as that might sound, "but at the same time you're not. You're not really just a friend… Kagome, December's my least favorite month of the year but you made it fun—"

"Grand," she snapped, "I'm—"

"Just listen to me. That's how I always functioned when it comes to anything close to a relationship. I should have broken the habit with you… but I didn't. I'm not a considerate guy," he shrugged, "but that's not an excuse and I know that… I can settle for you—"

"_Settle_?"

"Kagome," he nearly groaned but held back, "I'm not great at these whole heart, ya' know, seeking things. Just ignore my choice of words," he begged, "what I'm trying to say is… I… Kagome, I…"

"If you say you love me I'm going to throw my water into your face," she warned, winning a gawking stare from him. "You can't just say it and imagine everything is OK. Love isn't about just saying it, it's about showing it and… you didn't."

With a meek nod he continued anyway, "let me show you, then."

She'd like that, and if it was under any other circumstance she'd allow it but… she couldn't risk it now, "no."

Had he been _that_ bad? Granted, he should have been more considerate during December but he was pretty damn good in bed—he thought so at least—so that should at least be taken into deliberation. No, no, there was just no way he was such an ass that all their years of friendship meant nothing now, there was no way he was such a bastard that he didn't deserve a second chance.

"I love you."

It shouldn't have, she shouldn't have let it, but it did… it took her breath away to finally hear those three words leave his lips. Had she ever even heard him say the word 'love' in all the years they knew each other? No matter how long she sat there stunned, she couldn't recall… she blinked away the water in her eyes and looked away. Damn her hormones…

"Kagome," if it affected her enough for tears to nearly fall there still had to be feelings there. "I don't want you thinking I was with anyone else while I was with you. You were it, you are more than enough. I can—no, I am content with just you. I don't need anyone besides you. I'm talking about women, I'm talking about anyone, out of all my friends, all the people I know, I just need you and I'll be fine. I…" He swallowed back a choke, "was in a bad place when you first came to work for me. I don't know if I would have gotten out of it if you weren't there to whip my ass back into shape. You were always there when I… I needed you… Kagome, I need _you_. I'm sorry I didn't figure that out until you were gone. Just," he pushed the black box forward, "give me a chance to make that up to you."

Even though she tried her hardest, a tear still streaked down her cheek before she could whip it away and look back to the box. That was the proposal she always wanted to hear, and for the exclusion of him not being on his knee, it was perfect. A romantic restaurant, a heartfelt plead—she had him begging—but…

"I…" couldn't, she took a breath before her shaky hand grasped the black box, "no."

Maybe her mouth was saying no but her eyes weren't, the way her fingers slid around the box weren't, the way her voice shock wasn't, "think about it a while." He requested before he cupped her hand that was around the box into one of his, "I'll wait however long you need for the answer."

"Inuyasha," she mumbled.

"_So… seriously?" Kagome dragged out as she sat upon her couch, a glass of red wine in hand while her eyes wondered about the man that was idly spewed out on the very same couch—his legs lazily draped over her own._

"_Huh?" He murmured without removing his amber gaze from the romantic comedy that he had been forced to endure._

"_You just said you don't want kids," she coaxed, "are you completely serious? What if you met the love of your life? What if you married a wonderful woman that doted over you and you her, you _really_ would never want to have any children? Not even one."_

"_Not even one," he assured slowly, "even if I did marry the women of my dreams I wouldn't want kids."_

"_Why?"_

"_I just don't," he snarled with glance to her, "drop it, OK?"_

"_But… it'd be _your_ kid, wouldn't that matter?"_

"_I don't get that," he muttered, "just because I had sex with someone and my sperm found her egg… what's it matter?"_

"_God, you are terrible person," she grumbled, "but it would be your wife, that's what I'm saying."_

"_Keh, the women I marry—if I ever bother with it—better know I don't want kids. Haven't you seen how hectic it is at Miroku and Sango's now that they have kids? Fuck that."_

"_I love kids," she pouted, "I love little Koharu and Kota, how can you not?"_

"_Of course I do, I like them but only from a distance. I had to babysit them once—"_

"_I was with you, like Sango and Miroku would leave their kids alone with you." _

"_Exactly," he grinned, "but, seriously, babysitting them was a nightmare. It would be a punishment for me to end up with any amount of kids."_

"I will," he assured before she pulled her hand away from his.

"It won't matter how long you wait..." she held her breath before she found a way to finish, "I can't say yes."

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"Thanks for walking me back," she mumbled as they lingered at her front door, "I… bye."

"Kagome," he lightly grabbed her arm before she could open her door, "I don't want this to be the last time I see you."

Her nutmeg eyes washed over his serious façade a few times… serious, he was completely serious. That was what got to her… she loved him, she was willing to be stupid one last time. "Come… in?"

"Are you sure?" Was what a gentlemen would ask, but he didn't, he didn't want to give her a chance to take it back so he nodded and let her walk in first, followed, and closed the door.

"Tea?"

"Sure."

Goodbye, that was what tonight would be all about. A nice, friendly, goodbye. She decided that as she prepared two cups for them, he must have been thinking something similar since he gently took the glass from her and placed it upon the counter. His golden gaze locked with hers, he raised his hand to cup her cheek… the fact that she leaned into his touch was what encouraged him to lean in for a kiss.

A goodbye kiss, that's what she told herself as she responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. A goodbye grope? Is that what she told herself as his hands roamed down her back to pull her closer? She wasn't sure anymore as she pried her lips open for him.

It was what he was best at, that was why he figured it would convince her to stay. He'd be different with her than anyone else; he'd _show_ her that he loved her like she told him to. He lifted her up to sit her upon the counter, her legs wrapped around his waist to pull him closer.

Passion took charge of sense as he picked her up, her grasp upon him tightened and their kiss deepened. It took a great amount of effort on his part not to knock into anything as he went to the door he could only assume was her room, it wasn't fully closed so he just kicked it open. At that point he took pause to lean against the doorframe to make sure his grip was good. That was when their lips parted so his could trail down her neck, she leaned away to give him better access.

"Kagome," he whispered against her skin. Before, he rarely said a thing. That was how it always was… but Kagome was different. He'd prove that.

"Huh?" She hummed back before he gentle set her down on her unmade bed. It was clear from the state of her room that she hadn't any plan of bringing him back that night. Then again… the Kagome he knew was a clean freak, to see her room in such disarray. Did he do that to her?

She was only out of his life for a little more than two months but it had felt so much longer with each day that passed dragging out longer than the one before. Still, he took care to remove her sweater slowly, let his lips roam against her newly exposed skin.

It was hard from him to be slow, to not just tear off all of her clothes and just go for it but… he didn't. He took time to remove her clothes, just like she did at taking his off.

Little was the same as it was before, there was no 'thud, thud, thud' that drove the neighbors mad. A name often fluttered from their lips, but never did she say 'I love you' back to all his declarations as a gentle, careful, apathy led their rhythm.

"I love you, Kagome."

|**x**|—{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}—|**x**|

He loved me. I think I believe it… he showed it to me, in the way we made love—it was actually that, not sex, it was more. Yet, I could never tell him that I love him back. If I told you that you were going to be a daddy would you accept that? Would you still want me to marry you? Or would you…?

I blinked away tears. I haven't the slightest idea what you'd think. I have so many memories of the years that we spent together of the conversation we had on kids… but would it be different if it really happened? I don't know what would be better. Telling you and having you reject the responsibility, withdraw your proposal… then at least I'd know, but it would kill me. If I never tell you… if I never know, then at least it would save me the heart ache. But then I'd never know… and that would haunt me all the same.

I spun onto my knees to grasp the toilet for the second time that mourning. It was awful, why must I have such awful nauseas? I'd like to say it's just because the man that caused this was outside sleeping in my bed still but it isn't, it's always like this.

He held me so tightly all night long… I wanted to tell him a few times but I didn't. I just turned my back so it was pressed against his chest and slept in his arms… I want to tell you.

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I love her. I think she believes it… I showed her it the best I could the night before. It has been years since I… have—as corny and stupid as it seems—actually made love instead of fucked. I haven't since my first, since Kikyou. God, my whole world came crashing down when the car… I didn't think I'd get over it. I didn't think I'd ever find someone that was worthy to hold a torch to her so I just dulled the pain with trophies. It didn't work until Miroku hired Kagome for me, I never bothered with a secretary before but he was sure I needed the help.

He was right; she was a great deal of help. I overloaded her with everything I couldn't handle—which was usually anything to do with the women I used a coping method. I think that's why she quit within a year.

I didn't think much about it when we started to see more and more of each other outside the office since she was best friends with Sango and I Miroku. Then we started spending time together without those two, since they started popping out little whining needy kids and lost the brilliancy of free time because of that. Then… she became an actual friend, a great friend, someone I didn't notice I couldn't live without...

Until she was gone, wasn't that how it always goes? You don't know what you got until it's gone? That's a saying, right? Well, it's fucking true. Now, I'll never fuck up again. I'll make amends because… I love her. I held her tight throughout the night, to make sure she never left me. I couldn't let her leave me again…

It was the second time in a short while that I heard the flushing of the toilet, so I finally bothered to roll out of bed.

|**x**|—{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}—|**x**|

"Kagome?" Inuyasha beckoned as he knocked upon the bathroom door, "you OK? Are you sick? Do you think it was the food from last night?"

After she spite out the mouthwash she looked into the mirror to see the door behind her, she wasn't that shocked that she woke him… so what? Lie and say it was food poisoning?

"Inuyasha?" She started with a sigh, "how did you find me? Did Sango tell you or did Miroku?"

"Neither," he replied as he leaned against the door frame, his arms folded, "Kagome, don't get mad… but I hired someone to find you."

She couldn't cut all ties from him… even if she moved again, he could find her and if he really loved her like he claimed he did—as she was starting to believe he did…

"Kagome? Are you OK?"

"Yeah," she assured as she pulled open the door to see him right there, her eyes locked with his for but a moment before she looked away, "I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? It's not the food, is it? If it is I'll—"

"I'm pregnant."

It whipped everything off his face just like she thought it would, his eyes widened, his mouth was left ajar, and she was quite sure he wasn't breathing.

"Don't worry," she started shakily before she found her stern tone, "it's not yours."

He moved his mouth to say something else but… couldn't. He still didn't blink.

"That's right," she assured him as she leaned against the door, "I know it's not…" but how? He couldn't be that well versed in the way of pregnancy so lying to him wouldn't be that hard. "Um, it was… this guy that I met as soon as I got to Kyoto," but he knew she didn't do one night stands so, "remember when I told you about my high school sweetheart? Yeah, him, he lives in Kyoto. But he doesn't want to deal with the responsibility and I don't want him anyway. So now do you get why I keep saying 'no'?"

It took more than a minute after she finished her steady statement before he was able to stutter one back, "uh… yeah?"

"Yep. Don't fret, Yasha."

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He stayed for breakfast but little was said between the two, he was in a state of shock for the duration. She wasn't surprised by the least bit; it did stun her some that he didn't bolt out the door as soon as he thought it was appropriate. Really, he had some nerve to be sitting at her table staring aimlessly at the cup of coffee before him when she was the one that was pregnant. She was the one that had to deal with raising a kid by herself. She even lied flawlessly to him, it would be alright if she said that 'yeah, it's yours'. Then she'd be completely fine with the way he was acting but… he didn't think it was, so why was he so comatose as she did the dishes?

When she was done and dried her hands she turned around to lean on the counter and tilt her head slightly, her nutmegs narrowing on him slightly, "you going to make it, Yasha?"

"Yeah…" he began after a pause, "you're…" he looked up to her finally; it took him a while before he could make eye contact with her, "so… you are…?"

"Yes."

"Right… and the guy… he left you?"

"Well," she took a deep breath, "no, we have a mutual agreement that it's for the best if he's not around."

"So he left?" he kept up with.

She rolled her eyes with a sigh, "yes, fine, he left. Now will you?"

"No," he murmured before he stood up and walked over to her.

"What are you doing now?" She grumbled.

"What he should have," he barely mumbled before he pulled the same black box out of his pocket as the night before, a smile rose upon his lips when he saw the way her eyes widened again. He knelt down before she could protest and opened the box, "Higurashi Kagome, will you marry me?"

She raised a brow as her hands gripped the counter behind her; she opened her mouth to reply but couldn't seem to find a word until she looked away, "what the hell?"

"Seriously, Kagome, I can do this, I can't stand the idea of you doing this all by yourself and I know you well enough to know that you can't like the idea. And I do I love you… it's just," he paused for a moment, "you'll have you give me the bio-dad's full info so I can—"

"Whoa, Inuyasha," she stopped him as she placed her hands in front of him, "you can't do anything—"

"I'm not going to go beat the shit out of him," though he'd like to, "but… if you say yes, which I want you to, I'd want to take on responsibility as…" he struggled for the word, "father of the child. I'd have to get him to relinquish all rights so he can't come back later and—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, no," she shook her hands, "you don't know what you are saying at all. What happened to all those times that you said having a kid would be the bane of your existence? Would be like a prison? Would be—"

"I say stupid shit all the time—"

"You said that _all_ the time, more than all—"

"Shut up," he growled, "I said that _before_. Now I… want you and if that means—"

"Hey, no," she took a step away and waved her hands to keep him away, "no, no, no. The baby doesn't come as baggage. I don't want that because you won't really want the baby, you'll just take on parenthood as a consolation prize. It would be awful to raise a child with someone that doesn't actually want the kid."

"Kagome," he rose up to his feet to follow her around the kitchen, "come on. I… admit, I have been harsh on the idea of fatherhood but… that's just because I… I don't know what to do. At all, but it would be different if it was with you."

"Sure," she nodded, "how about this, you come back in two months and tell me if you feel the same way."

"_Kagome_," he grunted, "stop being difficult—"

"No! Stop, stop! I'm not being difficult, I'm being sensible," she asserted before stepping away from him again, "it's not fair that you just suddenly change your mind about everything and say that you want children when every year that we've known each other you've said that you don't want any. I… no, I can't deal with this right now. Please leave, just please, Inuyasha, leave!" she shook her head before she headed back to her bedroom and shut the door.

|**x**|—{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}—|**x**|

She half expected him to be sitting out in the living room when I finally came out of my room but… he was gone. It was a bit more than just a little disappointing but… it didn't matter. She let it go with a sigh as she started on her Sunday chores. She only had an hour before she had to get ready for her appointment… that'd she'd be going to alone, as always go to alone…

But she did the right thing, she didn't tell him… because he'd react the same and he'd stick with her. He just wouldn't want to and ruin her baby's childhood. She grew up always thinking that her father would rather be anywhere but at home with them, he used to travel all over the world for work before she was born but then he had to settle down… her mom made him and it killed him. Well, not literally.

He acted proper, like any father would, and did all he was supposed to but she still constantly found him staring out the window wishing for the life he had before… he wasn't happy, so how could she?

Then he got that life back when Souta was in elementary school and she started middle school and the plane crash happened. Now, she knew that wasn't likely to happen but she didn't want Inuyasha always staring out the window making their child feel the same way she felt when she was a kid.

Hopefully, she had a girl; it would be easier for her to not have a dad around… right? A little boy had to have a daddy; a little girl just needed her mommy.

"Oh my lord," she gasped while she opened her door.

"Sorry," Inuyasha weakly smiled, "did you have enough time?"

"What?"

"You said to go away for now," he dragged out and that's what he did, "I wasn't going to go all the way back to Tokyo."

"No," she murmured, "you're crazy. Inuyasha, seriously… I… you…"

"I've been thinking about this ever since you told, and I honestly think I can do this. What, do you think that I'd be a bad dad?"

Out of simple frustration she spat out, "yes."

It stunned him for a moment and he shoved his hands deep in his pocket before he took a breath and looked back down the hallway. That was probably true… but… "what… what if I tell you the real reason I don't want kids?"

"Because it'd be like a prison, because," she could go on and on with a list of a thousand reasons he'd given her throughout the years but he stopped her before she got the chance.

"Kikyou," it was the one word that could mute her almost always. "She… we… I was planning on proposing to her before… the accident. She knew, everyone knew it, I wasn't really great about hiding that fact," he murmured before he took a breath and managed to force himself to look at the silent girl, "she was coming to see me that day… to tell me that…" did he have to say it or did she get it? No matter how long of a pause he took her expression didn't change, it would if she got it… right? So he took another deep breath before looking away, "she was… that we were going to be… look, I just lost a lot more than Kikyou that day."

"Oh…" Kagome swallowed before she looked away, "I'm sorry. I didn't know… I'm really sorry, Inuyasha."

"I didn't even tell Miroku… I just said that about kids because… I don't know, it just… I wasn't over what happened. I don't think," he pressed his lips together briefly, "I will ever be. It helped if I forced myself to think that way about kids but… Kagome, I do love you and… for you, I could stop showing up in the tabloids, I could move to Kyoto, I could… be a dad… albeit, maybe not the best, but I could try and I would… because I love you and I… I'd love any kid we'd have. Even if the kids not biologically mine."

"Inuyasha…" she took a step forward before she threw her arms around his neck and held him tighter than she ever thought she could. He didn't protest, he wrapped his arms around her waist all the same. "About that…"

|**x**|—{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}-{X}-{**O**}—|**x**|

"What do you think, Keiichi?" Kagome asked with the grandest smile as she held her baby boy in her arms, swaying him ever so slightly as his head rested upon her shoulder and his small little hand reached out for gift in front of him, "do you like your first Christmas gift?"

"Of course he does," Inuyasha gloated, "I picked it out. I know what my kid wants, right, Keiichi?"

"Is that right?" she laughed lightly just as their baby did, "I think he likes it."

"I have a gift for you, too," he assured as he knelt down by the tree that they had decorated together. It was the first year in a long while that he ever bothered with such matters, but it wouldn't be the last... and he was glad for that.

"Do you now?" she mused as she placed Keiichi on his blanket so he could play with his new toy.

He moved over to hover behind her, "I have to get something for my wife."

"I have something for you, too," she started as she turned slightly to see him right there with a small box. Jewelry, she knew that much as she took it from him and opened it up. She glanced over the necklace a few times; it was made out of gold with emerald and rubies in the shape of a plant of some sort, "it's really lovely but... what is this?"

"Mistletoe," he grinned, "that's what started all this, after all."

She couldn't help but laugh again at that, "you remember that, do you?"

"I do," he whispered just before snagging a quick kiss, "I remember the month that followed way better."

"Of course you would," she shook her head as he took the necklace from the box to put it on her… it was true, she smiled softly as she sat down on the couch to watch her husband play with their son. Her fingers lingering upon the gift so loved so much, becuase it would forever remind her of what led to her perfect life with the man she loved... their their one simple mistletoe mistake.

* * *

**A/N:** well, I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for the reviews and thank you for any future reviews, I do adore them so. I feel 'blah' about the ending but I really wanted the title to be the last two words so... that's that.

Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading.


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